


Anything For Love

by Archangelsanonymous (Pattypixie)



Series: Catharsis [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Gabriel (Supernatural), Best Boyfriend Sam WInchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Unintentional non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 11:36:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18342893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattypixie/pseuds/Archangelsanonymous
Summary: **Originally posted on Tumblr**Gabriel doesn't know what to tell Sam when their relationship starts to get sexual.





	Anything For Love

**Author's Note:**

> I put this as part of this series because it's something I've gone through and still go through with partners. It's so hard to meet someone and have to explain that you don't have sex. For a long time, it was just easier to go with it, and luckily, I've finally got some partners that love me and understand and have never ever pressured me for sex. 
> 
> For all my asexual siblings that struggle with finding partners or keeping them because of your sexuality, don't give up or give in. I'm proof that there are people out there that will happily allow you to be yourself. I promise.

Gabriel grew frustrated when he realized that things wouldn’t be different with Sam.

_“It will be fine. Just like all the other times.”_

Gabriel resisted the urge to flinch as Sam’s hands found their way under his shirt and up Gabriel’s sides. As they kissed, he could feel Sam’s arousal pushing against his abdomen, and with the help of some grace, forced himself to harden as well.

_“It’s for Sam. So Sam will stay. I need Sam and he needs me for this.”_

“You’re so gorgeous,” Sam whispered against Gabriel’s lips, one of his roving hands moving further downward, teasing at Gabriel’s waistband.

Gabriel dug his nails into Sam’s back, knowing that they’d be mistaken for passion instead of the discomfort that he actually felt. As Sam unbuttoned his jeans, he pulled away from the kiss, baring his neck and hoping that Sam would take the offering. He had no desire to let Sam see the real effect of his actions. As expected, Sam started to press soft kisses to Gabriel’s neck, more revenant and tender than anyone had ever been with him.

_“He cares. He cares about me and I can’t let him down. He’ll leave me if I don’t give him this. I owe him this.”_

Gabriel gasped as Sam softly cupped him, only squeezing with a little pressure, then letting go. He felt Sam grin against the skin of his neck, knowing it not to be malicious, but feeling like it all the same.

“Gabriel,” Sam breathed, “I…” He let out a chuckle and pulled away a little to look at Gabriel. “I love you. Before we do this, I want you to know that.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened as he stared up at Sam. He opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. No one had ever said that to him. No one had ever—

“I’m sorry,” Gabriel blurted out, stepping away from Sam. “I—“

Sam frowned, furrowing his brow in confusion. “What is it? Do you…” His eyebrows raised as he came to a realization. “God, I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He turned around and buried his head in his hands, chastising himself.

“No, it’s not that. I…” Gabriel trailed off, not sure of what to say. Every emotion inside of him seemed to be warring with every other. There was a particularly loud one that was yelling at Gabriel to tell the truth, even though he knew it would be a disaster. “I don’t want to.”

Sam turned back around, eyes already wet with tears. “Don’t want to what? Love me? Hurt me? It was stupid to think you could be capable of anything but meaningless sex.”

“I don’t want to have sex!” Gabriel yelled, tears starting to sting his own eyes. “I don’t…I don’t like it, okay?”

“What?” Sam asked, softly.

Gabriel ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t really like sex. I mean, I think people are attractive and see their sex appeal, but I just…” He walked over to the bed, sat on the edge, and let out a sigh. “I only do it to fit in; so other people and beings don’t suspect anything. It was always just expected. Last time I told someone was Kali, and after I did, she left. I didn’t want to tell you because…” Gabriel gripped the edge of the bed with his hands and looked at his knees. “I love you too. I don’t want you to leave.”

After a few moments of silence, Sam came and sat next to Gabriel. “I suppose it makes sense that angels would be asexual.”

“A-what?” Gabriel looked up at Sam, who looked so much better with the small smile on his face.

“Asexual,” Sam reached down and grabbed Gabriel’s hand, holding it in his own. “It’s totally normal. It just means you’re adverse to sexual contact. Nothing wrong about that.”

“It’s normal to not want to have sex?” Gabriel scoffed.

“I mean,” Sam moved his head side to side, “I think something like one or two percent of the population is asexual, but it’s not unnatural.”

“But you’re not,” Gabriel looked away. “You won’t be happy being with me if we don’t. I mean, its okay. If you want to have sex, I’ll do it. I want you to be happy.”

“No,” Sam demanded. “I’m not going to rape you.”

Gabriel looked back at Sam with wide eyes. “What? No! I said its okay!”

“No, it’s not,” Sam argued. “I don’t need to have sex with you to love you. And because I love you, I’m not going to force you to do something that you’re uncomfortable with for my benefit. Sorry, but making someone do something against their will is a bit of a turn-off.”

“So, what?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “You’re just going to jerk it for the rest of your life?”

Sam shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, I have a lot of practice.” He smiled and Gabriel chuckled. “I’ll just get some extra toys for myself, and I’ll be good.”

“I’m sorry I’m fucked up,” Gabriel sighed. “You should go out and find someone who can give you what you need.”

“Why would I do that when I have that someone right here?” Sam pulled his hand away and ran it over Gabriel’s hair. “You’ve been making me more than happy the last few months we haven’t been having sex, so I don’t see why that can’t keep going on. Is it okay if I kiss you?”

“Uh, yeah,” Gabriel rolled his eyes as Sam leaned down for a kiss. He melted into it and felt Sam’s hand trail down to the small of his back. Quickly, he tensed up, knowing what was coming, and Sam pulled away.

“Sorry, was that not okay?” Sam pulled his hand away as if it was on fire.

“No, I just…” Gabriel looked up and groaned. “I like that. I like kissing and being touched and cuddling, but it always leads to the other person wanting more. It scares me a bit, okay? I don’t want to be a tease.”

Sam smiled. “Gabriel, you’re not a tease. If you’re okay with this stuff but don’t want to go any further, that’s fine. If things get too sexual, tell me and I’ll back off. I won’t be mad, I promise.”

“Really?” Gabriel narrowed his eyes, suspiciously.

“Really,” Sam confirmed. “Now, do you want to curl up with me and binge Psych or what?”

Gabriel’s face broke into a grin. “Yeah, I do.”

Sam leaned down and gave Gabriel a soft peck on the lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Samster.”

**Author's Note:**

> Visit me!
> 
> Twitter: @pattypixie
> 
> Tumblr: @archangelsanonymous


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